♫ I'm not gonna brew you a love potion ♫

20:55, not even an hour after seeing Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.

Many people had seen it before me, and many people had slated the movie in it's entirety. I've read terrible reviews, and my expectations were quite low for this film... but boy, was I pleasantly surprised!

Everyone complains about how these pictures never live up to the books, and about how much they change, or what important parts they've left out, but I simply disagree. Films and books are different. Books are filled with so much detail, and have no time-frame in which the reader needs to finish. Films however, have only two or three hours to tell a tale. They also have to be extraordinary enough to appeal to movie-goers. It is all about telling a story, and making money from it at the end of the day! It isn't about sticking to the books exactly, and putting every single little detail you think they should into it.

There are some times you need to sit back, ignore the books, ignore your critical side, and just enjoy the movie.

After pushing that side away, and shushing the person beside me who kept saying "Awh it's terrible, you're gonna hate it!" I was immediately engrossed in this magical new adventure Mr. Potter was being taken on. The special fx stunned me! I thought they were ridiculously awesome! As for the demolition of the Weasley Abode- I KNOW it wasn't in the book, but I don't care! It was a totally unexpected twist, that was used to shock the avid Potter readers! It gave the movie it's own voice! It said

"Yes, we may be based on a book, but we have our own twists and turns and aren't going to turn into a predictable pile of mediocrity."

Helena Bonham Carter's performance was amazing, as usual. However I was slightly bothered by her tendency to sniff peoples shoulders... but it all just added to the character of Bellatrix. She was enchanting... for a baddie of course.

A favourite point in the film, (also quite sad when Aragog dies), was when Harry took the Felix Felicitus potion. It was nice to see him free from all the angst and pressure. Twas Made of win ^^

After getting over the excitement of seeing the Cliffs of Mohair, finding a horcrux, and returning to the castle, came the much dreaded scene... The murder of Dumbledore brought a tear to my eye (or at least made me feel a tad emotional). It really was touching, and I knew it was going to happen. I remember feeling exactly like that when I read the books, and it felt like I was losing Albie all over again. So I applaud all involved in the film for that moment.

I know I could write more, but in actual fact I'd rather not. I could criticise, as I myself do have complaints, changes, and book-related things to write about, but I won't. I won't because no matter how much we criticise it, it won't change it. It will still be the same film, so why not just enjoy it?

Alienation?

The one place I was always relaxed was there.
The one thing I always looked forward to was that.
The one group of people I always felt I could trust was them.
The one group of people I always felt I could rely on was them.
I always had faith...

I never thought I would feel so outside... so forgotten about...

Disappointedly I was hugged, not warmly as you'd expect from friends... Disappointed it was me they had to hug, before they could get to the people they actually wanted to see... Then grouped together, they engaged inconversation and in- jokes leaving me and the others who hadn't been with them everyday to the side...

They made plans to visit each other, and visit other people, again leaving us to shrug at each other, thinking

"why did we bother, why would we think things would ever be the same?"

Reality hit me, when it was said "You and you have to come and stay with me... and like, others" the last part of which was thrown in after realising there were others sitting with them. I realised after these people being invited into my home, the act was not going to be returned. I was simply going to be invited because I was there at the time, not because I was still part of them...

"It's great the way it all came together in our last year" was the point it really hit home.
I wasn't there, I wasn't there for the new bonding, the new relationships, the new in-jokes, so I had nothing to offer to the group anymore, I had nothing to talk about because they wanted to talk about nothing else...

Then off they went on another little adventure, with a half-hearted invitation thrown my way... but I couldn't do it, feeling enough of a 3rd wheel as it was... What would be the point? I had nothing to gain.. And now, now I'm finding it difficult to talk to anyone of them...

It was the first time I'd ever been home early from town, without being called.



Weeks other news:

• Fell down the stairs, think something in my back is now displaced.

• Angie passed away, miss him so much =,[

Summer change?

For the past week I've been able to think of her in a happy kind of way... Not getting as upset when I hear about her, or when I see her picture on the mantlepiece... I just think of her with fond memories now...

Mayhaps I just needed the time by myself, with all my friends gone away, to learn to deal with it by myself? Or maybe I had a mentle block, because I thought I needed to talk about it, but never thought anyone would quite get it? I don't know...

I think she needed me to accept it, so she can help me with all of the other problems I need to deal with. God knows I have far too much to deal with for a teenage girl! Yeah, that must be it, she can help me through it now, my new guardian angel...

Haha, that started the emotions working again, but not in a bad way this time, not in the uncontrollable sobbing kind-of way...

Little flower,
Show your power,
Every hour.
<3

The youth of today...

My usual agony aunts are all gone away, so you'll have to deal with the watershed again Bloggie ^^

As a young person, my opinion does not matter. It does not matter because I am in limbo. I cannot be a real young person, because "the age gap is too big" and I am not a real figure of authority because "she's not technically a leader" so my opinion doesn't count. Both those statements quoted above have been contradicted by the persons who made them, to suit themselves of course.

But even others in this clique have done the same. They humour me for a while with their "Yeah, go on, trust us, you poor fragile girl who has made it obvious she has trust issues in the first place" and then spit on me and say "you know what, we actually couldn't give a shit what you think, because it isn't what we think, so shut up!"

I have been an agony aunt to the people they were supposed to be looking after, I have done an unbelievable amount of work, put in so much blood, sweat and tears, but so what? She's only seventeen right? Treat her like shit and she'll bounce right back and forgive us, right?

I think this time was one too many, the little trust I had is gone, respect, amach as an fhuinneog, this time I am actually finished. All I did was try to help children, to whom my opinion does matter, and from now on that is all I will care about.

They say children are the best judges of character, so there must be areason they flock to me instead of you.

Pizza Flu

It is an epidemic that is striking nationwide... creeping up on poor, unsuspecting teens as they're settling down to enjoy a quiet sociable evening with their friends in Pizza Hut... This epidemic is called PIZZA FLU!

As consumers everywhere are ordering their plain Margarita's with Italian bases, they never suspect that their tasty treat is out for revenge...

You see folks, pizza is sick of the way it is treated, discarded as a snack for the youth of today during their trips to town, sick of being unappreciated, and sick of being mass produced and exploited by chains...

A young boy from the Dublin area, it has been reported, is to be the next victim of said Pizza Flu. Mr. Pepsi, the spokesperson for the pizza-trade-union, has declared that the young boy in question spends weekends convincing friends to join him for pizza, only to disrespect it, and engage them in mindless banter instead. Mr. Pepsi has described this boy as medium in height, with women's sized feet. He wears a hat, and answers to the orders of a mysterious blond girl.
If you know anybody who fits this description, please warn them, they will be next.

*Dramatic Musical Ending*

It helps...

It's tough, and always will be...

But it really helps when you have someone their to sympathise and empathise, and share experiences with... Stayed up late, and cried my eyes out... pretty sure I upset her too, but she knows I didn't mean to..

I feel like a rather large weights been lifted, because I'm not on my own anymore,

So thank you ^^

The power of a silly song...

So I'd been thinking 'bout it all day, 4 months on, and everyday she's still on my mind...

So I sit down in the sitting room and my folks are watching Have I Got News For You, Rolf Harris was presenting this week. I knew I'd heard of him before, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it... The show was quite funny, and I thought to myself "Quite cool, for an old guy" then the credits rolled.. Then they brought him back up again, to do the bloopers I thought... but then..

He started singing... getting everyone to sing... the song that she used to sing to us when she watched us... since as long as I could remember she'd taught us that song..

Two little boys had two little toys
Each had a wooden horse
Gayly they played each summer's day
Warriors both of course
One little chap then had a mishap
Broke off his horse's head
Wept for his toy then cried with joy
As his young playmate said:

"Did you think I would leave you crying
When there's room on my horse for two
Climb up here Jack and don't be crying
I can go just as fast with two
When we grow up we'll both be soldiers
And our horses will not be toys
And I wonder if we'll remember
When we were two little boys"

Long years had passed, war came so fast
Bravely they marched away
Cannon roared loud, and in the mad crowd
Wounded and dying lay
Up goes a shout, a horse dashes out
Out from the ranks so blue
Gallops away to where Joe lay
Then came a voice he knew:

"Did you think I would leave you dying
When there's room on my horse for two
Climb up here Joe, we'll soon be flying
I can go just as fast with two
Did you say Joe I'm all a-tremble
Perhaps it's the battle's noise
But I think it's that I remember
When we were two little boys

Do you think I would leave you dying
There's room on my horse for two
Climb up here Joe, we'll soon by flying
Back to the ranks so blue
Can you feel Joe I'm all a tremble
Perhaps it's the battle's noise
But I think it's that I remember
When we were two little boys"

And the thing is, I know it's only a silly little song, but it was ours... our aul auntie and ours...
And then I hear her voice singing it again, and my hearts in my mouth... I ran out to the kitchen and sat on the floor so no-one could see or hear me, and cried. Cried it all out. The dogs sitting, staring like they understood, which I know sounds odd, but it's what it looked like...

4 months on, and anytime I hear one of her songs, see something she gave me, pass by her old road, hear people talk about her, I cry.. Every night when me and my brother say our prayer to her, my heart sinks...

Little Flower,
Show your Power,
Every hour.

She taught me that prayer, and she taught me that song. She taught me to bake and she taught me to iron. She taught me to be who I am and ignore the people who put you down.

I just don't get why she can't still teach me... teach me to be stronger?

The Big Smoke

What is it about the effect the city has on me! Whilst most people are complaining about the crime rates, and how scary it is in the dark, I seem to be quite content strolling through on my lonesome while the sun sets... Maybe it's the time I have just to contemplate myself... Or maybe I'm just that naive ^^ Either way, I'm at home!

It isn't the same when you cross over to the countryside.. my supposed home... where I feel less settled =/ Not at peace.. without the same hustle-and-bustle I've become enchanted with...

Can't wait to travel ^^


In other news:

Twilight Books: EPIC
Twilight Movie: Disappointing



And tis just over a month since Mar-Mar died... It isn't getting any easier =[ and it doesn't feel like it ever will... I didn't realise how hard it would be, but it is...
I found the last €10 she gave me, and my Mum keeps saying she'd want me to spend it.. but I wanna do something special for her with it..
hehe, I did come up with a plan.. Going to Bray (which is where she brought us every summer when we were kids, spending most of her time on the slots! Quite the gambler was my Auntie Maura haha) And spending it on the slots for her, see if the aul one'll give us her luck xD

Maybe use it to go to the zoo... I'll never forget the day she got lost in the African Plains, and we thought she'd ran away with the zookeeper! She was one awesome lady! *beams*

And that is exactly what she was, a lady.


Next: GIRLS ALOUD SUPPORTING COLDPLAY!? WTF IS THIS ALL ABOUT!?
Are they TRYING to purposely upset me? I LOVE Coldplay... and despise Girls Aloud. Polar opposites much!?


Oh the excitement that is my life... I loves it ^^

-Lo-Lo

Crisis of Faith...

Dear God,

I need some clarification here..

K, so I know the most amazing woman in the world. She has spent her life devoted to You, and to helping everyone around her! Every year she collects everyones coppers, and saves for what we call "Mar-Mars blind boys". Everyday she opens her home to anyone that's upset, or just in need of a cuppa. She NEVER EVER complains, ever.

She had a stroke a few years back, and always told us she'd just broken her leg running for the bus =P

Even now, as I watch her becoming more frail, and helpless... she doesn't complain, and is still as generous as ever... And is lying in her bed, surrounded by her Rosaries, crosses, prayers, you name it, I find myself asking: God.. this woman has done nothing to harm anyone for her entire life, nothing but love and help... Why would you curse her with such a horrible illness, such a long, drawn out illness... That's not only hurting her, but everyone she's ever cared for too..

My little brother, "Mar-Mars boy" as he's called, is the only one not to cry, the only one that could hold it together when we visited her today. Afterwards, he comforted me when he saw I was upset. He's going to be just like her when he grows up, a loving person! He keeps asking why everyone else is crying though... He has it figured out, but I'm betting he just doesn't want it to be true... "Y'know, I really love Mar-Mar" he keeps saying, "She's my favourite Auntie"

It was so hard to say goodbye today, she's like a 3rd nanny, but better! Leaving her room, where she's bedridden now, she said "Keep me in your prayers, love".
See, even then God, she's still keeping her faith in you! I told her I would, and kept telling her I loved her, over and over again, and said I'd see her at the weekend...

My point is, WHY? Why make her go through this!? This... cancer!!! She does not deserve this!! No-one does!

Please, stop this! Because if Auntie Maura's taken, we'll all be lost...

Yours,

Love.

Frustration...

So school starts back today, and it's like, the frustration and misery I worked out over the break all flows back... Who'd have thought one building could cause so much anger and upset?
I step off the bus, and the second my foot hits the ground I get nervous...

The day starts with the cold art classroom, the best possible class I could begin with. Then talk of hanging our paintings up commences. What classes shall we take of then? 3 last classes tomorrow? Sounds great! What do I have the... And I remember, Irish =/

Irish is the singular bane of my life! I love the language, and I love being Irish! But the class is the one part of the day that causes knots in my stomach as I dread its approach! I can never understand a word said! Confusion much!? And everytime I'm asked a question I screw up, soo humiliating, and she pauses, and looks at me for ages while I get embarrassed! I hate it so much!
And then the homework... I shant get started on that...

I come home to my house stripped of it's Christmas Décor for another season, tis sad really... Even the cat appears to miss the Christmas tree!

In other news, Angie and J.B. are still missing... I'm getting worried, but my Mum keeps saying "They'll come back when they're hungry! Don't worry!" -Tis been almost a week... I know I'd be hungry =[

My flabber is well and truly gasted.

Well after a long, and tiring weekend, I'm just ready to curl up and sleep for the next few days!... well, until school starts back anyways =/

Had my lovely nerd-camp buddies came to stay, causing much sleep to be lost! Serial, 3 days of no sleep, *yawness*

The one thing about being around them is we can say absolutely anything to each other! And we get creative with our poking-fun at each other... Par example I made a "darling" song about one:

When you're looking down the street and a car goes by,

You'll see 2 old guys getting high,

It's Alan, and Herbert, The perverti,

Singing- My oh my!

You'd better lock your children up,

Or they'll be lured with 7up!

Alan proceeds to remove their clothes,

While Herbert watches through the windows!

Tis yet to be finished, but we think tis coming along nicely ^^