Sunday, June 7, 2009

Pizza Flu

It is an epidemic that is striking nationwide... creeping up on poor, unsuspecting teens as they're settling down to enjoy a quiet sociable evening with their friends in Pizza Hut... This epidemic is called PIZZA FLU!

As consumers everywhere are ordering their plain Margarita's with Italian bases, they never suspect that their tasty treat is out for revenge...

You see folks, pizza is sick of the way it is treated, discarded as a snack for the youth of today during their trips to town, sick of being unappreciated, and sick of being mass produced and exploited by chains...

A young boy from the Dublin area, it has been reported, is to be the next victim of said Pizza Flu. Mr. Pepsi, the spokesperson for the pizza-trade-union, has declared that the young boy in question spends weekends convincing friends to join him for pizza, only to disrespect it, and engage them in mindless banter instead. Mr. Pepsi has described this boy as medium in height, with women's sized feet. He wears a hat, and answers to the orders of a mysterious blond girl.
If you know anybody who fits this description, please warn them, they will be next.

*Dramatic Musical Ending*

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